you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
