yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
