Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
