I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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