Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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