Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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