Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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