god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
