I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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