5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
