Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
