Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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