Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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