Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My dad is sitting where you rode me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
