i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Panties = found
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
