Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
