I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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