I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
