Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
