today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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