remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
