I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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