Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think brook has ever known best
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
