Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
