dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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