is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
