Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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