If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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