Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
