Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
