I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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