your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
