I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
