it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
