p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she smelled like a LAN party
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
