I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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