I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
