hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
