Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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