I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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