Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
