whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
