I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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