rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
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