OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
