What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
