You work out of a Hotel?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
