Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

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(207): View more from Maine

we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

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(954): View more from Florida

Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?

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(425): View more from Washington

No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.

Fav 17 2027 954
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(931): View more from Tennessee

i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

Fav 10 867 1953
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(323): View more from California

Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

(818): View more from California

Stop it right now

(323): View more from California

This time face forward

Fav 2 842 552
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.

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(512): View more from Texas

at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river

Fav 0 12 68
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