but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
