dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How's work?
Spinning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
