she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
