I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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