drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I touched a dick in church today
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
