you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
