the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
