Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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