I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
