But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I supernannyed him into submission
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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