why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
