I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
