lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
