Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
