so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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