The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i think i just lost a toe
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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