is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize