he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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