Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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